Repost from Hanoi Massive, would love to know who wrote it originally:

Rules of Driving in Vietnam

1. You should always keep a safe driving distance behind another vehicle unless you want him to move. In this case, tail the person closely flashing your brights or honking.

2. Always follow the posted speed limit signs. Joking! There aren’t any!

3. Slow down when approaching an intersection and look both ways before proceeding. If you don’t want to do this, simply turn on your hazard lights and maintain your speed.

4. When driving at night, always leave your brights on. You can see more things this way.

5. If you don’t want to slow down or apply the brakes, ensure that you honk the horn an ample number of times.

6. The right of way goes to the biggest vehicle.

7. When making a left hand turn, go as close to the curb as possible. When making a right hand turn, go as close to the curb as possible. If any confusion arises, refer to rule #6.

8. Holding down the horn while you are driving is a sure way to let other vehicles know that you are there.

9. Vehicles with loads that stick out more than 5 feet do not require a red flag. Anybody who is stupid enough to hit you deserves it.

10. The load capacity of any vehicle will be determined by whether or not it can move forward.

11. When making a U-turn or a left hand turn, move to the far left hand lane before making your turn. Or go to the far right hand lane if that’s what you fancy.

12. If you must drive on the wrong side of the road, do so by all means.

13. Seat belts are required by law… in Western countries. We don’t understand these devices but you can use them IF the car has them.

14. Adults must wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle but small children don’t.